Ferran’s New Plan

Recently, the New York Times wrote an article about Ferran Adrià, a man credited with starting the trend of foamy foods.  Mr. Adrià has just created a new beer for his restaurant, hoping to create, in his words, “a beer to drink with food”.  The Brew Yorker wanted to give Ferran a space to continue writing about his new beer and our old ones.  Take it away, Ferran!

As a professional chef, there are few things that I can consume when I’m eating.  Some foods, not all.   There are many things that you may like which are actually quite unacceptable.  Unlike you, my taste buds have some class.  Not that there’s something wrong with yours or anything, they’re just not as good as mine.

When eating, I find that there’s little that ruins a meal more than a beer.  To start out with, you can’t put it in a wine glass.  At least, I can’t.  My wine glasses are sparkling creations of crystal-wear and craftsmanship.  Pouring a beer into that would most certainly result in the glass breaking and beer – hateful, vile beer – spilling out onto my imported marble top butcher block.

I won’t lie, I don’t know anyone who can drink the stuff without vomiting.  No no, it’s true.  I’ll see people drinking, I’m not sure, ten or so, and then they just start vomiting.  Are you expecting me to consider that a coincidence?  Because I don’t.  I don’t at all.

My new beer, on the other hand, Inedit (it’s French, you silly prick) is a delicious counterpoint to any meal.  What’s more, I serve it in a wine bottle.  It’s created through three fermentations, unlike those crappy beers where it’s just one.  It’s subtle, and unique, sort of like a chardonnay.  It’s barely beer at all, which is why I allow it at my table.

You just can’t drink a beer while you’re eating.  It’s wrong.  If you think you can, than you’re wrong.  I don’t care that there are already plenty of people that have no problem with drinking beer at the table.  I don’t like it.  I don’t accept it.  The only acceptable table beer from this moment forth is Inedit!  And I win this by default, because I wear a frilly hat.

NOTE: The above is a work of parody, not actually the words of Ferran Adrià.

– Jake

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