Archive for David Solomon

Lesser Dangers: Episode 2

Posted in Fun... with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2009 by thebrewyorker

You have been warned. Repeatedly. Yet still you commit errors whilst heavily drinking. We’ll tell you one more time, but this is it: beware!

Youtube link here.

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George and Gracie

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 17, 2009 by thebrewyorker

We’ve all been put into difficult situations by our friends. Let the Brew Yorker help you out in such a place!

YouTube link here.

Drinking Age

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on August 12, 2009 by thebrewyorker

DISCLAIMER: I am not, in any way, supporting underage drinking with this piece. The legal drinking age is 21, and you should not taste a sip of alcohol until then. *snicker*

Illegally downloading music was all the rage back in the day when you had to pay $15.99 for a CD. Granted, you were getting 10-15 songs, but lots of the time you only really wanted one of them, and singles weren’t available for every possible song. People generally want to do the right thing, but when a rule or a price is absurd enough, it’s essentially ignored. And when everybody ignores a rule, enforcing it becomes a joke, and the rule ceases to exist.

This is how the American drinking age works. While some people drink in high school, most people begin in college (at least those I know). Nobody waits until they turn 21. Getting a fake ID is not considered a crime by most; people who would never commit a crime their whole life will get a fake ID without hesitation. You know how silly it all is; you fight and die for your country at 18, blah blah blah.

A lot of people think the drinking age should be lowered. But who’s going to vote for a senator or congressman trying to get that passed? And anyway, what’s the difference? Under 21, but want to drink? Lots of places don’t even card. And for the ones that do? Buy a fake ID. It’s not really a rule, anymore; it’s more a vague form of discrimination that occasionally may prevent you from entering a bar or buying beer. Yes, it’s a bit annoying at times, but so is Monday morning traffic.

– David

Bar Review – McAleer’s

Posted in Bar or Beer Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 10, 2009 by thebrewyorker

One of the best sports bars in the city (and with one of the best deals) gets the BY treatment, courtesy of our guest hosts Erin and Laura! Stop oggling them breasts and watch the video, perv!

YouTube link here.

Bar Review – Manitoba’s

Posted in Bar or Beer Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 6, 2009 by thebrewyorker

A fun, old school New York bar in the East Village where the drinks are cheap, the atmosphere rocks, and there’s always something going on. We have Clare Goggin from Beer Goggins to help us out, too!

YouTube link here.

Twilight

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on August 5, 2009 by thebrewyorker

Sometimes when I drink beer, I think of the Twilight novels.

True story: my fiancée reads the Twilight books. She brings some down with her to Atlanta, my place of birth. One of my Atlanta friends, the only girl, expresses interest in reading them. So my fiancée lets her borrow them. I return three months later, and all of my friends (most of them males in their late twenties) have not only read these books, but become passionately in love with them.

They argue loudly over who’s better for Bella (the main character): Edward (the vampire) or Jacob (the werewolf). These arguments become very emotional and passionate, as friends’ past drug addictions and other emotional experiences are brought up as evidence in each side trying to prove their point. Some even go to conventions and brag about how much various cast members from the movies touch them.

After all this, I decided to read the books. The first three, as I expected, were terrible. But the fourth one was AMAZING.

Let me tell you something; Stephanie Meyer is one fucked up bitch! House destroying sex, superhuman infant romance, gory dismemberment of animals, immolation, and cannibalistic caesarian sections are just some of the rewards for reading 1500+ pages of teenage girl whining.

So here’s my suggestion; read the fourth book. If you can’t tell what’s going on, read some summaries or something. It’s pretty amazing. Mormons are screwy.

– David

The Brown Paper Bag

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on July 29, 2009 by thebrewyorker

I’ve always been fascinated by the concept of disguising a beer bottle in a brown paper bag. People do it all the time in order to drink while outside; a thrill that never seemed to appeal too much to me, but to each his own. However, I always wondered how it was that cops never caught on; if someone’s drinking something out of a brown paper bag, surely it’s not Pepsi. Well, I finally discovered the secret the other day.

I have this friend, Ray Burr. He’s a cop. Anyway, Ray and I were eating Chinese food and watching “House, M.D.” in my apartment. I figured that, having completed the main meal, it was time to enjoy a much deserved fortune cookie. I reach into the brown paper bag the food was delivered in. Ray looks over at me, and screams “HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHERE DID YOUR HAND GO?” Before I knew it, he had run to the bathroom and came back with half the supplies in my medicine cabinet. As he poured Hydrogen Peroxide over my hand while sobbing and screaming something about his former partner, I tried to convince him that my hand was still there; after all, he was pouring Hydrogen Peroxide on it, as opposed to nothing. Soon, he understood what I was trying to say.

After this display, he was certainly quite embarrassed. He began apologizing profusely, and while at first I only wanted him to forget about it, I eventually decided that now was the perfect time to ask him why he thought my hand had vanished. Being in an emotional state, he quickly explained what I found out was actually a pretty big secret. Are you ready?

Cops can’t see ANYTHING if it’s behind a brown paper bag.

And it’s not just limited to actual brown paper bags. It’s the material. If you have a long sheet of brown paper, you could hide behind it if cops are looking for you. Heck, if you really want, you could build a suit out of brown paper, and you’d be invisible to cops.

I’m actually planning on testing this theory out next week. Funny enough, there are a few things I need from the police station down the block from where I live. This may be my chance to finally reclaim them. I’ll follow up with the results of my mission next week. Until then, remember the magic of brown paper bags.

-David

P.S.: The fortune from my fortune cookie read “Important in your bed, would be living the goods of others.” I’m not sure what “goods” other people are leaving in my bed, but I think that’s something I should look into.