Archive for Drinking

Lesser Dangers: Episode 2

Posted in Fun... with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2009 by thebrewyorker

You have been warned. Repeatedly. Yet still you commit errors whilst heavily drinking. We’ll tell you one more time, but this is it: beware!

Youtube link here.

George and Gracie

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 17, 2009 by thebrewyorker

We’ve all been put into difficult situations by our friends. Let the Brew Yorker help you out in such a place!

YouTube link here.

Drinking Age

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on August 12, 2009 by thebrewyorker

DISCLAIMER: I am not, in any way, supporting underage drinking with this piece. The legal drinking age is 21, and you should not taste a sip of alcohol until then. *snicker*

Illegally downloading music was all the rage back in the day when you had to pay $15.99 for a CD. Granted, you were getting 10-15 songs, but lots of the time you only really wanted one of them, and singles weren’t available for every possible song. People generally want to do the right thing, but when a rule or a price is absurd enough, it’s essentially ignored. And when everybody ignores a rule, enforcing it becomes a joke, and the rule ceases to exist.

This is how the American drinking age works. While some people drink in high school, most people begin in college (at least those I know). Nobody waits until they turn 21. Getting a fake ID is not considered a crime by most; people who would never commit a crime their whole life will get a fake ID without hesitation. You know how silly it all is; you fight and die for your country at 18, blah blah blah.

A lot of people think the drinking age should be lowered. But who’s going to vote for a senator or congressman trying to get that passed? And anyway, what’s the difference? Under 21, but want to drink? Lots of places don’t even card. And for the ones that do? Buy a fake ID. It’s not really a rule, anymore; it’s more a vague form of discrimination that occasionally may prevent you from entering a bar or buying beer. Yes, it’s a bit annoying at times, but so is Monday morning traffic.

– David

Bar Review – McAleer’s

Posted in Bar or Beer Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 10, 2009 by thebrewyorker

One of the best sports bars in the city (and with one of the best deals) gets the BY treatment, courtesy of our guest hosts Erin and Laura! Stop oggling them breasts and watch the video, perv!

YouTube link here.

Bar Review – Manitoba’s

Posted in Bar or Beer Review with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 6, 2009 by thebrewyorker

A fun, old school New York bar in the East Village where the drinks are cheap, the atmosphere rocks, and there’s always something going on. We have Clare Goggin from Beer Goggins to help us out, too!

YouTube link here.

Bringing The Beer Summit Global

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on August 4, 2009 by thebrewyorker

Now that racial tensions have been soothed forever again by President Barack Obama and his now legendary “beer summit”, I think it’s time to see what kind of wings this idea has and… let it fly. Let’s bring this motherfucker global.

Peace in Central Asia
When India threw off the yoke of British oppression back in 1947, a group in India felt they weren’t represented in the country. These people, after helping India free themselves from Britain requested their own nation, and they got it. Pakistan. But strife and ethnic discomforts have long haunted the region. And now that both nations have attained nuclear status, the entire world has become at jeopardy due to two angry nations of little people pointing really big guns at each other. Well not anymore! Now that President Barack Obama has shown us how to do a beer summit, we’re going to sooth these ethnic tensions. Manmohan Singh calls up Asif Ali Zardari, and he’s all, “Yo! Why don’t you drop on by my capital and we have a brewski?” (except, of course, he says it in Hindi… no no… French) And then, Asif comes over, and Manmohan opens up a big ass bottle of Taj Mahal, and Zardari opens up… what’s a good Pakistani beer? Well there’s gotta be one, I mean. So they’re an Islamic country, what’s that got to do with it? Oh. Huh. Okay, moving on.

Peace in Utah
For years, splinter groups from the church of Latter Day Saints have become more and more extreme, sometimes becoming a problem for the entire United States, like in the past year when that colony of them was flushed out. Utah is burning, and it’s time to quell that flame with magic foaming bubbles of booze! What the fuck do you mean, “Mormons don’t drink.” Okay. How about they just sit down for a cup of coffee. Seriously? You’re joking. Oy.

Peace in the Middle East
Okay. This one is going to work. Ever since the creation of the state of Israel, there have been problems between the Israelis and the Palestinians. Well, no more! Mahmoud Abbas and Benjamin Netanyahu get together to drink Goldstar and… FUCK! More fucking… okay. MOVING ON.

Peace in the World
Ever since the US’s new age of Imperialism in the 1960s through 80s, we’ve been pissing off just about everyone who lives in the sand. That hatred has spread out to pretty much everyone who looks like us and fights on our side. Except the French. Everyone who hates the French hates them for completely different reasons. Anyway, most recently, the haters have reared their ugly head in the form of Osama bin Ladin and his Al Qaeda movement. Now, I think it’s time for Barack Obama to invite whoever the hell is now heading Al Qaeda to the white house for a beer. Gordon Brown’ll come, maybe Nouri al-Maliki – It’ll work! Really! I mean… you mean they don’t either? Really?

I’m noticing a trend.

– Jake

Terrible Songs That Sound Good When You’re Drunk: Journey – Don’t Stop Believing

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on August 1, 2009 by thebrewyorker

There was period of time when everything was lame. Culture was at an all-time low, movies were long and obnoxious and Ronald Regan was president. This period was called the 1980’s. When the next generation goes to history class they will read about the 1980’s (or as I refer to it as The Dead Zone) as a blight on society. It was a time when mediocrity was admired and Gallagher was considered to be the funniest man in America. But the worst thing about the 80’s was the music. 80’s music reminds me of herpes. Just when you think it’s gone, you’re horrified to discover it’s still there. It wasn’t enough for Generation X to embrace this music, but now they have spread their horrific musical taste to their children. It’s just plain sickening.

That’s why every time you’re at a bar at some point some schmuck will walk up to the jukebox, take a dollar and actually pay to hear “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey. Journey is a band made up of former members of Santana. Allegedly, Santana kicked them out of the band when he listened to them play while sober. The band got together in the mid-70’s with one goal in mind: to kill rock and roll forever. In 1981 they released their biggest single, “Don’t Stop Believing.” If the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand sparked “the war to end all wars”, Journey sparked the song to end all music.

Drunk people love this song. It speaks to them. It’s like someone peeked into their booze-soaked hearts and wrote down their pain. The opening piano riff alone can send a crowded, dank bar into an emotional outburst. The only way these people can express their loneliness is by shouting the lyrics off-key. If you don’t know the words to the song, just grab a seat four blocks away from any bar and you’ll learn them. But I assume you don’t have the time, so here is a sample:

Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world
She took the midnight train going anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train going anywhere

I’m going to stop right there because this is stupid. You can tell this is a complete eighties anthem. A song about a people who are so fed up, they take the latest train going anywhere. What are they fed up with? If this song were about me, the answer would be Journey. But it isn’t about me; it’s about two dorks whose parents wouldn’t let them play with their pet rocks. Dorkus and Malorkus (as I named them) go to a crappy concert, meet and do the nasty. The message of the song: Don’t stop believing that you can get laid even in the worst decade of the twentieth century. How inspirational.

I can’t keep bashing the decade, the band and the song because I have to get to my main point. Sure, this monster ballad is irritating but after twelve beers and a shot of bourbon, it seems like the Ninth Symphony. The fact of the matter is this song will never be removed from the jukebox. So, when I sit at the bar with my beer in hand and I hear that never-ending chorus, it brings a tear to my eye. A tear that forms from a joyful realization: Thank God I grew up in the nineties.

– Will